The Epic Pork

Partly because everyone seems to be making it or asking me for the recipe, partly because I've chucked one in to slowcook overnight for tomorrow's tea... here it is.  The manna from heaven that is slowcooked bbq pulled pork.

I can't claim the original inspiration for this, it was passed to me by someone I shared internet forum space with yonks ago.  She turned out to be a nutter, so the pulled pork may be her one sane contribution to humanity!  Do try to make your own BBQ sauce, and don't be put off by the list of ingredients, it's not complicated in the least to just throw it all into the pan.  You don't even have to be too exact about measuring, I've made it so many times that I just approximate, aim and chuck!  If you like a fiery kick, add more chilli. I never bother with the salt, and use reduced salt/sugar ketchup to make me happier about feeding it to the delicate-kidneyed snarflings, but equally you can use basics/value/smartprice ketchup, it doesn't need to be premium branded stuff.

Without any further ado - the pork.  It makes lots.  You will enjoy eating the leftovers!

To make the pork:

Get a boneless pork joint - shoulder is a cheap cut and works well - and stick it in the slowcooker with some form of liquid - cider, apple juice, pineapple juice, cola, water, whatever - about half a mugful. Cook on low for at least 8 hours.

When it's cooked, remove the meat, hive off a mugful of the liquid in the slowcooker and set this aside. Drain the rest away.

Cut the fat off the pork and chuck it. Using 2 forks, shred the meat, then return it to the slowcooker.

Use the liquid to make a BBQ sauce. You could use a bought one but I think this is nicer:



BBQ sauce

about 2tbsps/a hunk of butter
Small onion, pureed or finely chopped
mugful of ketchup
mugful of cooking liquor or water
tsp salt (I don't use salt in mine and it's fine)
1/2 tsp pepper
spoonful jarred garlic or a couple of cloves, blitzed with the onion
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp vinegar (balsamic is nice)
2 tbsp lemon or lime juice
2 tbsp brown sugar/honey/golden syrup/whatever sugar you have lying around
1tsp paprika (pref smoked)
pinch chilli flakes (optional)

Melt the butter, saute the onion and garlic for a few minutes, chuck in everything else, simmer for 20 mins. Throw over the pork and stir to coat it and leave it in the slow cooker to all warm through for as long as you can wait.

You can serve with jacket spuds or in floury rolls or tortilla wraps, with beans, coleslaw, corn on the cob, all the above...

Winter Beef

Mmmmm, more slowcooker goodies.  What do you mean, you haven't bought a slowcooker yet?  To Argos with ye, now!

This isn't really a casserole, it doesn't have the requisite gravisauciness.  It's hard to define, really, if you don't really want to use the words 'beefy goodness'.  The beef just falls apart, the veg cook down to create a mass of... beefy goodness.

Well, you make it then try to describe it then, go on!

Serves 4 generously.  Chills/freezes well.

approx 1kg caesserole beef pieces
1 red cabbage, finely shredded
3 smallish parsnips, chopped
250ml red wine
2 crushed garlic cloves
1/2 tsp coarge ground black pepper
gravy granules, or 2 x beef stock cubes and thickening granules or cornflour.

Put everything bar the gravy granules in a slowcooker.  Cook for 8 hours on low.  If you plan on thickening with gravy, don't use stock cubes, it will be too salty, but if you're thickening with cornflour or similar, add 2 stock cubes now for flavour.

Before serving, stir in a few tsp of gravy granules or a little cornflour/cold water paste, and cook for 5-10 minutes more until thickened.

Serve with creamy mash, veg, or piled on top of a crisp-skinned, buttered jacket.

Welsh and proud

I know, I'm sorry, I've been gone ages.  We've been super busy with visitors and things going on and I've been mostly making super-simple things or cooking up frozen portions of delights I've already regaled you with. like the nicer chicken nuggets.  Or we've been eating out.  Naughty naughty.

I was chatting with some pals about regional stereotypes the other day (it's amazing the discussions I can get into on Facebook when I'm procrastinating and don't want to clean the dining room) and I realised that I'm something of a Welsh stereotype because I *love* leeks.  Literally cannot get enough of their silky sweet oniony goodness.  Never mind bread of heaven, I want heavenly leeks.

With this is mind, tonight's dinner is a bit of an experiment based on a dish my husband ordered on a recent eating-out-escapade to celebrate my birthday (I was 21.  Honestly).  The pub called it Welsh Chicken, so I plan to follow suit.  I have fiddled with it, naturally - this is me, I live to adapt, remember? - and therefore if it's a success I shall claim it for my own.  If it's awful, it's not my fault!

Welsh chicken, to serve 4.  Halve quantities for dinner a deux.

4 free range/high welfare standard chicken breast fillets, skinless
4 leeks, sliced
about 150ml boiling water
1 large/2 small head of brocolli, cut into small florets
2 heaped dessert spoons butter/spread
2 heaped dessert spoons plain flour
Milk, approx a pint
1 tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp coarsely ground black pepper
200g strong white cheese, cheddar or Caerphilly, grated
Olive oil

Heat a splash of oil in a wok or frying pan and briefly cook the chicken breasts on both sides.  Pop into an ovenproof dish and cover, setting aside.  In the same pan, add the leeks, stir to coat in the oil then add the water.  Turn the heat down to low, stirring occasionally. Meanwhile, pop the brocolli on to boil and cook until just al dente.  Drain and set aside.

When the leeks are soft and silky, remove from the heat.  Strain off any water and reserve this. Tip the brocolli over the browned chicken breasts then tip the leeks on top, covering the chicken.  Set off to one side, covered again.

Make the sauce - it's a basic bechemel/white sauce, as previously blogged.  Use the reserved leek water in with the milk.  Add the cheese and melt, then add the mustard seeds and pepper.  I don't think this dish needs any extra salt, the salt present in the cheese is seasoning enough, but you could always add some at the table if you preferred.  Pour the sauce all over the dish of chicken, leeks and brocolli, coating evenly.

Pop into a hot (200 degree) oven for about 25 minutes until bubbly and starting to turn golden.  Serve with whatever side dish you fancy - we're having rustic skin-on oven baked chips with ours.  It's all in the oven right now so I will update with a pic and verdict in a little while!

Update - it was delicious, you need to try it!

Most Awesome Mince Pies

What cheese can you use to hide a horse in?


















Marscapone.  Mask-a-pony?  Geddit?

That's one of my Dad's favourite jokes for you.  The relevance will become clear later.

Sorry for the lack of dinner bloggage - we've been eating out/eating leftovers/eating fajitas from commercial kits.  Nobody would have been interested, trust me.

Now, onto the Christmassy yumminess. I'm always looking for new ways to quickly and easily gussy up some shop bought mincemeat, and this little stroke of inspiration brings some sassy gorgeousness to the humble mince pie.  Also fun to make are mini mince pie 'pasties', and super-quick if you have a miniature device to make pasties like these beauties from Lakeland:

 Lakeland Pasty Press Set

(and not honestly all that taxing if you don't - if you can fold a circle and use a fork you're pretty much sorted.)

Pear and Chocolate Mince Pies - makes approx 18 pies or 24-30 small 'pasties'

822g (large jar) of classic/basic mincemeat or equivalent amount of homemade (Lidl's is very nice, and reasonable)
1 large/2 small firm pears, conference or similar, peeled, cored and finely chopped
40g dark chocolate, finely chopped
320g plain flour
30g cornflour
125g butter, cubed
100g vegetable fat (Trex/Crisp N Dry) cubed
1 egg, beaten
cold water
pinch salt
vegetable oil to grease tins
milk or another beaten egg, to glaze
icing sugar to serve

If making pies, grease the cups of a muffin tin with oil. If making pasties, pop some greaseproof on a couple of baking trays.

To make the pastry, rub the fats into the flour, cornflour and salt until it resembles nubbly breadcrumbs.  Add the beaten egg then stir with a cold clean knife, adding the cold water 1tsp at a time until it comes together in a dough but not so much it becomes sticky.  If it's sticky, add more flour.

Wrap in clingfilm and chuck in the fridge for 15 minutes. Turn the oven on, about 200 degrees.

Mix the mincemeat with the chopped pear and chocolate.

On a floured surface, roll out some of your dough to about 3-4mm thick.  Cut circles to fit your muffin tins, if you're using a bona fide muffin tin they'll need to be about 3" diameter, bit smaller for shallower bun tins.  Pat the circles into the greased tin, then roll out the rest of your dough and cut star, Christmas tree or other natty little shapes for the lids.

Fill each cup to just below the brim with the mincemeat, then pop on the natty lid. No need to stick it down, it will seal itself with the sugar from the mincemeat. Glaze with milk or egg and bake for approx 15 minutes, until golden.  Leave to cool a little before extracting from the tin with a spoon.  You can then pop them into fancy paper cases if you so wish, or just snarf them with a cup of coffee.

If you want to make the crisp, flaky little pasties instead, just cut lots of 3" circles.  If you have a pasty press, pop the circle into the press, add a scant teaspoon of mincemeat and press to seal.  If not, add the mincemeat then fold in half, pressing all around the outside with the tines of a fork to seal in place.  Repeat till everything is used up, place on the greasproofed baking trays and glaze and bake as above.

To make these gorgeous, you can sift icing sugar all over them, as though dusted prettily in beautiful snow.  Even though we know that snow is only pretty for five minutes, until you realise you're housebound with two fractious children and no bread by great drifts of the stinking, freezing stuff.  No, you may keep snow, but the sugared pies do look quite fetching.

Very tasty served warm with thick cream, brandy butter or those fancypants liqueur creams from supermarkets, or my personal favourite - a great dollop of marscapone.

Told you it would all make sense in the end!

Sticky sausage traybake

Minimum washing up, maximum feel good factor.  Lovely for cold nights, this is the sort of food you want to eat when you've been tramping around in leaves like you're in a Boden photoshoot.  Or possibly just doing parents evening and school run, as per my afternoon...

It's roughly based on a recipe I saw in Tesco magazine, but has been fiddled with sufficiently that I'm happy to claim it for my own.  Which is a good job, given that I now cant find the magazine anyway.  I can't leave a recipe alone, I have to fiddle, I think it's actually a medical condition.  Cooking something exactly as it's described in a recipe would be my challenge task on I'm A Frazzled Mum... Actually I Think I'll Stay Here, It's Peaceful.

I'm not going to give quantities.  You're all big and ugly enough to judge how many sausages and chunks of root veg you are capable of eating.

Sticky sausage traybake

Good quality sausages
Selection of root veg, trimmed, peeled if needed, and chunked.  Suggest sweet potatoes, parsnips, carrots, peppers, white potatoes, butternut squash - whaever you have in/like/need to use up
A red onion, cut into chunky slices
Some red/orange/yellow peppers, if liked, cut into chunks
Oil

Dressing:
3tsp clear honey
6 tsp worcestershire sauce
2 tsp apple juice
1 tsp garlic puree
pinch of dried chilli flakes
tsp smoked paprika

Heat a splosh of oil in a baking tray. Add root veg, pop into the oven (190 degrees) for 25 minutes.

Remove, pop in peppers and sausages and return to the oven for 20 minutes. 

Remove, splash dressing all over, return to oven for 5-10 minutes until sticky.  Remove, stir, serve.  Put some water in the tray and leave it to soak.  The washing up can wait...

Hostess with the Roast-est

We had family here on the weekend, so I decided to make a roast on Sunday.

I'm not going to tell you how to make a roast.  It's all fairly self explanatory.  I just thought you'd like to see a picture.  The Never Knowingly Undercatered Roast.  Nom.

Treats for my sweets

It's Bonus Time.  No, not on overpriced facial soap, but on Yummy Recipes.  I know what you want.

Little step-by-step of an easy and yummy Christmas treat, a nice alternative to mince pies.  They look posh and people will think you're dead clever but they are so simples, a meerkat could make them.

Mince Pie Twists - makes 12-14.

1 pack ready rolled puff pastry
about 3/4 of a jar of mincemeat
an egg

Get your puff pastry and let it sit out of the fridge for 10 minutes or so,  Unroll, with the short side closest to you, like theeeeeeees:

Fold over and mark the halfway point, scoring a faint line once you flip the pastry back into place.

Cover the half nearest you with a layer of mincemeat, thin as you can without it looking scanty.

Incidentally, I opted for Duerrs 1881 Luxury Mincemeat with Dark Chocolate and can report that it is VERY VERY NICE.

(hopefully awaits crates of free mincemeat from grateful company...)

Anyway, when your pastry is mincemeated up, flip the top half of the pasrty over the top, line up the edges neatly, and press down all over with a clean palm to expel as much air as you can without mushing it all out of place.  Thus:

Using a sharp, slightly serated knife, cut the folded pastry into strips, top to bottom.  About a cm wide is ideal.  Like this:

Now, pop some greasproof onto baking trays.  Take a strip and, holding one end in each hand, twist three times.  Put it onto the greasproof and repeat with all the strips.

Beat the egg with a splash of cold water and brush the twists with the egg wash.  Bake in a hot (190 ish) oven for ten to twelve minutes until golden.  Leave to cool before serving, if you can...