Pterodactyl for dinner.

My family discovered the wonder that is teriyaki sauce on a self catering holiday in Florida, back when I was in my early teens.  We were all instantly hooked, and very quickly nicknamed it, as tight knit little clans do.  Or maybe they don't, and we're all just a bit weird.  It's nice that we have each other, in that case.  Anyway, Pterodactyl Sauce was born, and Pterodactyl Sauce it will always be, and every summer we will barbecue up some Pterodactyl goodness.  Maybe you have to know us.

From the legend of Pterodactyl, and now cooking for my own family, these tasty skewers were created.  I make my own teriyaki sauce, because it's better than bottled.  This is sweeter than regular teriyaki, to get the requisite stickyness and thick glossy gorgeousness.  Super versatile, they make a delicious midweek family tea, but also barbecue beautifully, and made in large quantities are perfect for gatherings.  The rice dish that I serve alongside can be served hot, or as a cold salad at a barbecue or party.

Sweet Teriyaki Pork Skewers - makes 6-8 skewers

You will need about 8 skewers - I prefer flat metal ones, but you can use wooden, just be sure to soak them thoroughly, especially if you're barbecuing.


1 large mugful of pineapple juice
750g pork, ready cut stir fry strips or tenderloin cut into thin strips
1/2 cupful mirin (sweet rice wine - from Asian section of a large supermarket)
1/2 cupful dark soy sauce (you can use reduced salt version if cooking for little snarflings)
1/2 cupful loosely packed soft brown sugar
1 tbsp oil - groundnut or vegetable, NOT olive.


Cut up your pork, if you need to, or tip your packs of ready cut pork into a bowl.  Pour over the pineapple juice, cover with cling film, and pop in the fridge to marinate for at least 6 hours.

When ready to cook, put the mirin and soy sauce in a pan over a medium heat. When it's warm, tip in the sugar and oil.  Bring to the boil then reduce the heat right down and let it simmer, stirring frequently, for about ten minutes.  Turn the oven on to preheat, approximately 190oC/170o fan.

Meanwhile, take your skewers and thread your pork strips onto them.  Curl the strips into C or S shapes depending on length, doubling the strip over on itself to make a neat kebab.  You'll see what I mean from the pictures below.  Lay them onto a baking tray, if you have any scrappy bits that won't thread, just spread them on the tray.  Take your teriyaki sauce, which by now should be thicker and beautifully shiny, and brush/dab liberally all over the pork skewers, both sides.  Dab some on your scrappy bits too.  Those are your chef''s treat.  Keep a little sauce back.

Pop into your preheated oven and bake for 10-12 minutes until they look cooked and are sizzly.  Take them out, baste with the reserved sauce, and return to the oven for 2 minutes.  Or, of course, cook on a barbecue, basting regularly until cooked through.



Prawn fried rice

1.5 cups dry rice of your choosing - I like Basmati or you could try a sticky rice like Thai Jasmine
1 courgette
1 sweet red pointed pepper or regular red bell pepper
1 medium free range egg, well beaten
150g small ready cooked prawns, drained if in brine or defrosted if frozen
1 tbsp mirin
1 tsp brown sugar
2 tbsp groundnut or vegetable oil

Pop your rice on to boil and cook it as per the pack instructions.

Meanwhile, cut your pepper and courgette into very small dice.  Heat 1tbsp of the oil in a wok or large frying pan, and add the pepper.  Cook for 1-2 minutes then add the courgette.  Cook together for a few minutes more until al dente.  Take your beaten egg and slowly pour into the pan in a thin ribbon, stirring with the other hand all the while, then give a really good stir before throwing in your prawns.  Cook together for 1minute then push the mixture out to the sides and pour the remaining tbsp of oil into the resulting well.  Drain your cooked rice, add your rice to the pan and stir well.  Mix your mirin with the sugar and tip over the rice, stirring well to coat, then turn off the heat and serve immediately.

A note about rice - it's really not a great idea to leave warm rice sitting around growing gakky bacteria at a rapid rate.  SO, either make sure you time your rice to be ready to drain and add immediately to the dish OR cool it immediately by running under cold water and putting in the fridge until ready to use, then giving it a few extra minutes in the pan to reheat until PIPING HOT.  If you go with the second option, any leftover rice CANNOT be reheated, but you may chill it quickly and serve it cold.  If your plan is to serve it cold, I'd suggest cooking and immediately chilling the rice, storing in the fridge, then cooling and refrigerating the vegetable, egg and prawn mix then combining the two and adding the mirin dressing once fully cold.

That's quite enough CAPITAL EMPHASIS FOR FOOD HYGIENE.  SHOW ME THE DINNER!

The raw coated skewers, showing how they're threaded.

And the finished yummers.

My Big Fat Greek Pie.

Something yummy and veggie today, my take on spanakopita, a greek spinach and feta cheese filo pastry pie.  It's delicious warm, especially with minted baby new potatoes, but equally good cold.  It makes fantastic picnic fare and universally pleasing party food.  If you're cooking for actual vegetarians, do check that the feta cheese you choose is suitable for vegetarians. 

This makes two pies if made in quiche dishes - it freezes well unbaked, just cook from frozen adding 8-10 minutes to the cooking time.

Spinach, feta and red pepper pie

500g fresh spinach, washed
400 feta cheese, cubed
2 red peppers, cut into chunks
1 large pot Greek yoghurt
4 eggs
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tsp dried mixed herbs
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tbsp olive oil
6 sheets filo pastry, chilled or frozen variety

Defrost your pastry if using frozen.

Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the chunked red peppers. Cook for a few minutes then add the garlic and dried herbs.  Continue cooking for another few minutes until softened but still holding shape and a little crunch.

Meanwhile, pop the spinach in a bowl and microwave for 4 minutes until wilted.  Add the cooked peppers and cubed feta to the bowl.

In another bowl, mix the yoghurt, three of the eggs and the nutmeg, and beat until smooth.  Mix with the vegetables and cheese.

Take 2 ceramic quiche/pie dishes and line each with greasproof paper,tucking the excess over the sides.  The line each dish with three sheets of filo pastry.  With each sheet, cover the inside of the dish and leave a long 'tail' hanging over the edge, spacing your 'tails' evenly around the dish.  Pile filling into each dish then flip the 'tails' of pastry over the top to encase the filling.  Ruffle them up a bit, to get a gorgeous crunch!

Beat the fourth egg, and brush over the pastry.  Bake in a hot oven - 220, 200 fan - for 20 minutes until golden and crispy on top.


You could also make individual pastries by folding spoonfuls of filling into squares of layered filo and folding into triangles - seal with a little egg before brushing on more to glaze.  They will need less time in the oven than a big pie - 12-15mins.

Can I boi you a poi?

Firstly, please accept my apologies for the lack of photos to accompany this recipe.  I made it to feed a very hungry husband who had been out climbing Pen Y Fan in the snow and he ate it too fast for photo ops.

Pies are fabby warming winter food, and readymade pastry makes them quick and easy.  I don't have the patience to stand and fold and roll my own puff pastry whilst a hungry, wailing toddler attempts to scale my trouser leg, so I make no apologise for my addiction to Jus Rol.  Jus don't buy the new low fat puff one.  It's not 30% less fat, it's 90% less nice. 


The post title is inspired by a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, but knows who she is.  In our young, free, single, drunken days she was once famously chatted up in a 2am chip shop queue by an Australian backpacker who led with the classy "Noice tits luv.  Can I boi you a poi?".  It makes me chuckle every time I make a pie and I am happy to share the mirth.

So, a yummy, creamy, warming chicken pie then?  Of course.

Chicken, mushroom and bacon pie

400g chicken, breast or thigh fillet, chopped
1 small punnet mushrooms, chopped
6 thick rashers smoked bacon, chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
approx 2 dessertspoons softened butter or spread
approx 2 dessertspoons plain flour
1 pint chicken stock
1/4 pint milk
tsp mustard seeds
2 tsp chopped garlic (approx 4 cloves)
1/2 tsp crushed black pepper
1 pack ready rolled puff pastry
Olive oil

In a large pan, heat a splash of oil and fry off the onions and chopped bacon.  Set aside in a dish.  Repeat and brown the chicken and mushrooms together, cookig for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently.  Pop in the dish with the onions.

Return the pan to the heat, melt your butter and add your flour, cooking for a minute or two until the paste starts to turn golden and smells nutty.  Start adding the liquid a bit at a time - milk first, until it's all gone, then start with the stock.  Stir briskly between each addition as the sauce thickens and cooks - keep stirring and lumps will disappear, I promise.  When all the liquid is added, throw in the garlic, pepper and mustard seeds and simmer for about five minutes until thick.  Add in the contents of your bowl of chicken and whatnot, stir together then tip into an ovenproof dish and top with the pastry, cut to size.  Brush with a little milk or beaten egg to glaze and bake for 15-18 minutes in a hot (200, 180 fan) oven until gold and puffed and delicious.  Serve with vegetables of your pleasing.



You'll be pleased to know that the chat up line didn't work, incidentally.  I mean, would you?

Paprika chicken with paprika and veggies and paprika bulgar wheat. With paprika.

I love smoked paprika.  I rotate between a couple of perfumes, my day-to-day is 5th Avenue by Elizabeth Arden, but if it was socially acceptable I would roll in smoked paprika straight from the shower in the morning, basting myself with it's sultry sexy smoky perfumey loveliness.  It would turn my skin a shade of orange not even witnessed on TOWIE* but it would be worth it.

I can't do that, obviously, my husband would probably have me sectioned.  So I get my smoked paprika fix by cooking with it a lot instead.  This gorgeous traybake is a fine example of smoked paprika used judiciously to acheive heavenliness.

Smokey Chicken, Root Veg and Wheat traybake - for four.  Play with quantities for more/less.  You know the drill.

As much chicken on the bone - thigh, leg, drumstick - as you care to eat
Likewise as much root veg as you care to eat - I like sweet potato and butternut squash, you can add white potatoes if you wish
a fennel bulb
2 red peppers
A handful of dried bulghar wheat per person
1/2-1 teaspoon of clear honey per piece of chicken (drumsticks will need 1/2, bigger bits 1)
Smoked paprika
dried chilli flakes
dried mixed herbs
1 veg Oxo cube
Olive oil

Put your bulghar wheat, 1 tsp dried mixed herbs, a pinch of dried chilli and the Oxo cube into a bowl, cover with twice the volume of boiling water, stir and put aside to soak it's way to edibility. 

Peel, deseed and otherwise make your root veg and fennel bakeworthy.  Chop into chunks, toss in oil and about 1tsp of smoked paprika and spread onto baking trays.  Pop into an oven heated to 200/180 fan and bake for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, deseed your peppers and chop into large pieces, setting aside.

Mix 2 tbsp olive oil with 1tsp smoked paprika, a pinch of chilli flakes, 1/2 tsp of dried mixed herbs, and stir.  Brush over the chicken to coat. 

When your root veg have had their 15 minutes, add the pepper and chicken  to the oven and bake for another 20-25 minutes.  Take the chicken out, drizzle with the honey and return to the oven, cooking for another 5-10 until the chicken is cooked through and the veg  is cooked through and starting to blacken and caramelise at the edges.  Stir the vegetables into the soaked bulghar wheat, adding a little more smoked paprika if you think there's not quite enough involved already.  Serve with the honeysweetandsmokeysavourycrispyskinned chicken.  Heaven.

Too much veg?  Reserve some and whizz with hot vegetable stock for soup.  Tomorrow's lunch.  Serve leftover wheat/veg mix cold with salad dressing.  Veggie?  Ditch the chicken (duh!) and cook the veg and wheat, tossing in cubed halloumi cheese just before you serve.

This would make fantastic crowd-food - up the quantities and serve a heaped bowl of the wheat mix alongside a tray of chicken hissing hot from the oven.  Offer up plenty of napkins and get stuck in.









* Jimmy Carr - "I like to shorten The Only Way Is Essex... by turning it off halfway through"

Veg-packed lasagne

I'm wary of labelling this a 'hidden veg' dish because I don't really believe in tricking children into eating things.  However, I've got two children who will happily eat brussels sprouts and am aware not everyone is as lucky, so if this is a starting point in getting your kids to eat something plant-based, then crack on and call it what you will!

It's a great way of eking out mince to do that little bit more, it's a great source of veg and their associated goodies and benefits, but most importantly it's DELICIOUS.  Which is what counts, right?  If you have alternative veg lying around in your crisper starting to look sad, feel free to experiment.  Parsnip is especially nice and adds a lovely sweetness, and you could try very finely minced mushrooms.

You can substitute soya based mince or a drained can of cooked lentils and swap the beef stock cube for vegetable to make this a veggie friendly dish.

Don't be frightened by the ingredient list, it's not in the least bit taxing.




Veg Packed Lasagne - serves 2 adults, 2 snarflings, with enough for a tupperware lunch the next day.  Or can split into 4 portions and freeze two, for couples.

500g lean beef mince
1 onion, finely sliced
splash olive oil
1 courgette. grated
1 large carrot, grated
1 red pepper, finely sliced
1 beef stock cube
1 tsp each smoked paprika and italian seasoning/mixed dried herbs
2 cloves garlic, a bit of ready jarred garlic or a tsp of garlic granules
pinch dried chilli flakes
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 small can tomato puree
1 can/carton chopped tomatoes
1 carton passata.
approx 8-10 lasagne sheets, white or verdi
150g cheddar, grated

You will also need to make some white/bechamel sauce, which you can find directions for here.

Heat the oil in a large pan and chuck in the onion,   Cook for 3-4 minutes until it starts to brown and look a bit translucent.  Add the beef to the pan, stirring to break up clumps.  Cook until the beef is evenly brown in colour then add the courgette, carrot and pepper to the pan.  Cook for a few minutes until everything is softening nicely.

Crumble in the beef cube, add the seasonings and balsamic vinegar and stir thoroughly.  Tip in the puree, tomatoes and passata, stir well to combine, reduce the heat so that it just blips gently and happily, and let it cook with the occasional stir-poke for about ten minutes.

Meanwhile, whip up your sauce, and when it's reached the requisite creamy loveliness, add a pinch of crushed black pepper.  To make your sauce you could opt for an olive oil based spread suitable for cooking, and semi or 1% fat milk, if you wished.*

Layer your pans of yum into an ovenproof dish - beef mix, lasagne sheets, white sauce, beef mix, lasagne sheets, white sauce is how I roll.  Top the final layer of white sauce with the grated cheese.  Pop into a 200 degree-ish oven for 20 minutes until it's golden, bubbling and looking delicious.  Portion, serve and eat.  Without guilt!

* a note on cooking with lower fat dairy products with small children - in the interests of balance I make this dish with semi skimmed milk and it works fantastically well.  I've also made it with 1% fat milk on occasion and not noticed any difference.  It's up to you whether you choose to only use full fat products when cooking for small children, and I'd suggest you ask your Health Visitor for guidance (if s/he is any cop).  Personally, my smallest small person is nearly 2, has a good appetite and consumes a good selection of full fat dairy foods, and I have no compunctions about using semi skimmed in the occasional dish.  How you work it is up to you.  Just don't use skimmed, it doesn't cut it!

healthy.

Hola blogfans.  Happy new year!

Have you made any resolutions?  Do they involve expensive gym subscriptions, muchos salad, and the necessary purchase of a grapfruit fork?

So much is made of the importance of being 'healthy', particularly with regards to food, that I think we've lost sight of what it means.  We see food as being 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'.  Fat, sugar - those are bad.  Things that are fat free, vegetables, salad - those are good.  But if we lived on nothing but 'healthy' foods, would that in turn make us really really healthy?

I have spent years struggling with my weight and with an unhealthy, destructive relationship with food.  I have spent a long time mulling over what constitutes healthy.  I'm sharing my philosophy in the hope that some of you can embrace it.

Everything is healthy.  EVERYTHING.  In roughly the correct proportions. There are no bad foods.

Good huh? I shall expound.  Healthy is an attitude.  Healthy is a hearty appetite and the ability to take real pleasure in what you eat, eat enough of it to satisfy you, no more, no less.  Healthy is knowing that our bodies need a certain number of calories, a certain amount of fat, to stay alive and vital.  Healthy is prioritising REAL food, taking pleasure in cooking something delicious from raw ingredients and knowing exactly what you're putting in your mouth.  Healthy is knowing there is a time and a place for a meal made from a jar of sauce, and it's ensuring those time and places are few and sparse.  Healthy is not eating things you don't like, making yourself miserable and hungry, or pumping yourself full of 'fat-free' processed stuff that's packed with sugar and other additives to make it taste remotely like it was supposed to before they took all the fat out.

So resolve to be healthy with me this year.  Embrace food, don't shun it.  Learn to make it sing, learn to love proper, homecooked food that tastes like food is supposed to taste.  Find a balance that allows you to eat what you enjoy without demonising or canonising anything.  Stop when you're full.  Learn to cook a new meal every once in a while, push your taste boundaries, enjoy every single meal, every mouthful.  Be friends with your food again.  Have trifle after dinner on a Wednesday just because you fancy it.

Join me.

The Epic Pork

Partly because everyone seems to be making it or asking me for the recipe, partly because I've chucked one in to slowcook overnight for tomorrow's tea... here it is.  The manna from heaven that is slowcooked bbq pulled pork.

I can't claim the original inspiration for this, it was passed to me by someone I shared internet forum space with yonks ago.  She turned out to be a nutter, so the pulled pork may be her one sane contribution to humanity!  Do try to make your own BBQ sauce, and don't be put off by the list of ingredients, it's not complicated in the least to just throw it all into the pan.  You don't even have to be too exact about measuring, I've made it so many times that I just approximate, aim and chuck!  If you like a fiery kick, add more chilli. I never bother with the salt, and use reduced salt/sugar ketchup to make me happier about feeding it to the delicate-kidneyed snarflings, but equally you can use basics/value/smartprice ketchup, it doesn't need to be premium branded stuff.

Without any further ado - the pork.  It makes lots.  You will enjoy eating the leftovers!

To make the pork:

Get a boneless pork joint - shoulder is a cheap cut and works well - and stick it in the slowcooker with some form of liquid - cider, apple juice, pineapple juice, cola, water, whatever - about half a mugful. Cook on low for at least 8 hours.

When it's cooked, remove the meat, hive off a mugful of the liquid in the slowcooker and set this aside. Drain the rest away.

Cut the fat off the pork and chuck it. Using 2 forks, shred the meat, then return it to the slowcooker.

Use the liquid to make a BBQ sauce. You could use a bought one but I think this is nicer:



BBQ sauce

about 2tbsps/a hunk of butter
Small onion, pureed or finely chopped
mugful of ketchup
mugful of cooking liquor or water
tsp salt (I don't use salt in mine and it's fine)
1/2 tsp pepper
spoonful jarred garlic or a couple of cloves, blitzed with the onion
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp vinegar (balsamic is nice)
2 tbsp lemon or lime juice
2 tbsp brown sugar/honey/golden syrup/whatever sugar you have lying around
1tsp paprika (pref smoked)
pinch chilli flakes (optional)

Melt the butter, saute the onion and garlic for a few minutes, chuck in everything else, simmer for 20 mins. Throw over the pork and stir to coat it and leave it in the slow cooker to all warm through for as long as you can wait.

You can serve with jacket spuds or in floury rolls or tortilla wraps, with beans, coleslaw, corn on the cob, all the above...